SHOULD I tell my siblings about our half brother – a child our mum had after being raped as a teen?
I’ve carried the secret for 30 years, and now I’m wondering whether my sisters should know the truth. I’m a man of 40, and my twin sisters are 36.
I was 10 when I overheard my parents talking about an ‘attack’.
Sitting at the top of the stairs, I heard my mum say: “I’ve tried for years to forget the attack and what he did to me. Now this child wants to meet me? Absolutely not.”
As I grew older, I put two and two together. My mother had been raped, fell pregnant, and now the resulting child was reaching out.
I’m not sure why but I locked that memory away and never told anyone what I knew. I even went years without thinking about it.
But last month, I went to visit mum at her care home.
After dad died three years ago, we moved her in there. She has dementia, and sometimes forgets who she’s talking to.
That day, she thought I was dad. That’s when she just came out with it: “You know the boyfriend who attacked me? Well his son – our son – has been in touch. He’s asked to meet again, before it’s too late.”
She never told anyone about her other son, only my father – so I took the opportunity to ask questions.
It was her high school sweetheart, and he’d raped her in the summer she finished school. When they found out she was pregnant, her parents had ‘sorted everything’ – he was adopted from birth.
When I asked if she wanted to meet him, she said: “No, but I feel bad saying no. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
I don’t know if her son has got in touch again in reality or whether she is getting confused, but everything else she told me about him appears to be true.
Knowing so much is weighing heavy on me. But that’s not a reason to burden my sisters. Should they know about our half brother?
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM SAYS: Sharing this secret with them would not be burdening them – it would be telling the truth.
They’d be hurt if they found out another way and discovered you already knew. Carrying this secret will be taking a toll on you.
Talking your thoughts through with someone removed from the situation may help. So kindly get in touch with a counselor on how to go about the situation.