Before my husband died, I kissed his best friend – it was so wrong & yet so right

THREE days before my much-loved husband died, I kissed his best friend – it was so wrong and yet so right. 

My gorgeous husband was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour 18 months ago and we were devastated. I’m 32 and he was 34.

Before my husband died, I kissed his best mate – it was so wrong & yet so right
Before my husband died, I kissed his best mate – it was so wrong & yet so right

We both gave up work immediately because, luckily, we had insurance to cover the bills. We had been married for four years.

As things progressed, I got help from the medical team but had to dress him, wash him, feed him and take care of his toilet needs. 

In a way, I lost him on the day of his diagnosis, as we knew there was no cure.

I couldn’t have coped without the calm and kind support of his best friend. He’s 35 and a single dad to a three-year-old girl.

As my husband’s condition got worse, I accepted he was slipping away. In my head, I’d already let go of him — but it was a tough time. 

One particular night, my husband’s mate called in, as he regularly did. The nurse was upstairs with my husband doing some checks and I was making us all a cup of tea. 

I started to cry as reality hit home, and his mate came over to hug me. As he did, he lifted my chin up to his and we kissed. I felt such a strong pull between us and it gave me butterflies.

Before my husband died, I kissed his best mate – it was so wrong & yet so right
Before my husband died, I kissed his best mate – it was so wrong & yet so right

My husband passed away three days later. Since then his friend has been there for me, helping with the funeral arrangements and everything else. I’ve caught him looking at me a couple of times and, the truth is, I’m developing feelings for him too.

My husband always said I mustn’t be alone and I can’t think of anyone else he’d approve of more.

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM SAYS: You can still be friends but do be kind to yourself and come to terms with losing your husband first.

Kissing your husband’s friend was crossing a boundary, but he came on to you and this will have been a tough time for you both.

If you truly loved your husband then take some time to mourn him. A new relationship may feel like a good way to escape your grief, but there’s no rush. If this man feels like you, he’ll wait. 

It will stand you both in good stead if you deal with your loss properly before moving into any new relationship.

Don’t allow emotions to give you a bad image before friends and family, even your late husband’s family. If you are seen in an affair with your husband’s best friend now, everyone would think you’ve been cheating on your husband with him long ago.

Professional bereavement counselling will help you to come to terms with everything, and give you clarity about your long-term future.

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About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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