AS a teenager, I kissed and fell in love with my cousin and now, more than 20 years later, I can’t stop thinking what might have been.
My extended family all went on a camping holiday in France when I was 14.
My first cousin, then 15, and I spent a lot of time together, swimming and cycling.
I’d always admired him but, that summer, something changed.
One evening, we took a walk to the lake and, after swimming, found ourselves kissing.
We kept it secret because we knew people would disapprove — we weren’t even sure if it was legal for cousins to be together — but we kept in touch, and sneaked kisses at family dos.
I found myself falling in love, and I’m certain he felt the same.
A few years later his family came to visit mine and it wasn’t long before we were in each other’s arms again.
But this time he wanted s3x, and I backed off. He was so hurt he hasn’t spoken to me since — he even snubbed me at our grandma’s funeral.
I’ve had lots of relationships since, and was even married for a short time, but I’ve never got him out of my head or heart.
He was my first love and if I’m honest, I am still in love with him. I truly wish I was with him.
I’m 35 and single now, and I have no idea if he’s in a relationship — our branches of the family aren’t as close as they were and he doesn’t really speak to anyone.
Should I try to get in touch with him and see if we can make things work?
I don’t think I’m going to be able to move forward if I don’t at least try.
But if he feels the same, are cousins allowed a relationship?
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM SAYS: In the UK, first cousins can legally have relationships, and may even get married.
So that isn’t something you need to worry about – although some people do still disapprove because of the greater risk of genetic problems in resulting children.
Also, there are religious perspective to this. Christianity and most traditions don’t approve marriage of siblings or blood related people….though some practiced it in those bible days.
But that fact is sadly irrelevant unless your cousin feels the same way as you after 20 years, and is single and available.
I must gently warn you, the reality of a relationship with him now – a 36-year-old man – is unlikely to match your fantasy.
You were passionate teenagers experiencing first love, and adult relationships are almost never as intense or perfect.
It sounds like you aren’t very happy or fulfilled, and have been disappointed by relationships, so are clinging on to the past.
Contacting your cousin could work out, but there’s a strong chance it would lead to rejection and more unhappiness.
Perhaps it’s time to concentrate on the future, not the past.