MY lover and I are finally giving things a proper go – but her ex won’t leave her alone and it’s been eight months since they split up.
I feel like he’s stalking us, as he’s constantly ringing her phone and turning up at our house unannounced.
We first met at work — we’re both teachers at the local primary school. She’s 29, I’m 31.
It was like love at first sight — she is so full of life, has an infectious laugh and was brilliant with her class of children.
We ended up sleeping together after a Christmas party three years ago. I was single at the time, and she told me she’d been unhappy in her marriage for a while.
Her hsusband had many affairs and was very controlling, telling her what to eat and wear and checking on her at all times of the day.
We dated in secret for a year before calling it quits. She didn’t like lying to her partner, and wanted to end that relationship before getting too serious with me. It was months before she did though — she was worried about hurting him and disappointing both of their families.
Last summer she decided enough was enough. She left him and moved straight in with me. Everything has been great — we’re compatible in every single way and the s3x is mindblowing.
But the issue is that her ex just won’t move on. He rings her up to 20 times a day, and often sends handwritten letters begging for a second chance.
He’s even followed her home from work — he’ll sit on the doorstep and shout her name for hours on end.
Last week I saw texts between her and her sister where she had written: “Maybe it would be easier if I just went home.”
I don’t know how to convince her that this is where she needs to be.
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: That her ex is still behaving in such a way suggests she needs to take advice. What you describe is harassment.
She needs a marriage counselor to help her think things through properly.
You do need to talk to her and explain you’re worried the dynamics in your relationship have changed.
Ask her if she feels there is something missing in your relationship.
Reassure her that she has done the difficult bit by leaving her ex and that you will support her to move forward with her life.
She needs all the assurance she could get from you. It will place her in a better place to making a right and final decision about her supposed ex and you.