My lover is desperate to be with me but won’t leave her useless boyfriend

MY lover is desperate to be with me and the only things holding her back are her current partner and her family.

We have been together for a year and a half and she has wanted to leave her boyfriend for the past year.

I want to support her without being pushy. I so wish I could turn up at her home, pack up a van, scoop up her and her daughter and start our new life together.

But she is struggling with her mental health.

She is fretting that she may have to fight in court for her daughter, and her boyfriend is a very tricky character.

I am 35 and my lover is 34. She is an old school friend but we drifted apart.

Then two years ago, we got back in touch through Facebook.

She quickly confided in me that her partner, who is 48, treats her like dirt.

He doesn’t lift a finger around the house, is disinterested when it comes to their daughter, and refuses to work.

It is me she 100 per cent wants to be with. She wants to tell him it is over because she hasn’t been happy for years.

My lover is desperate to be with me but is being held back by her current partner and family
My lover is desperate to be with me but is being held back by her current partner and family

She struggles to make ends meet because he does not provide for them. We cannot wait for our future.

She used to say she did not want more children but now she does with me.

She knows it would be different with me, and a team effort.

I tell her she is strong enough to tell her partner and her family. Now I need her to believe it, too.

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: Your girlfriend does sound miserable. It is important to give her the space to really work out what she wants to do.

You can be supportive by letting her know that, if she is ready to take that leap, you will absolutely be there every step of the way.

But you both need a resolution, one way or another.

Tell her that being stuck like this is not fair on anyone.

Set a time limit – perhaps she has two months to tell her partner they are over, or you will have to move on.

Allow her the headspace to ensure she and her boyfriend really are finished.

As they have a daughter together, she must ensure that there is no chance of reconciliation.

If she does not make the break, I am afraid the bond is not as strong for her as it is for you, in which case it is best to know sooner rather than later.

As hard as that will be, at least you will be free to find someone else to love.

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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