My dad bullies me to lie about his multiple affairs and threatens to kick me out should I ever speak

MY dad has cheated on my mum multiple times and the worst part is I’ve kept his dirty secrets.

Over the years I’ve discovered he’s had a number of affairs.

My dad isn’t a good man. He lies, cheats, hurts everyone in his life and doesn’t care about the damage he causes.

I think he’s a narcissist and he won’t ever change. He’s 50 and mum’s 48.

I really hope I’m nothing like him and try to be a good guy.

A couple of years ago, I found out he was having an affair with a woman at his work.

He got really paranoid that my mum would find out and threatened that if I said anything, he would beat me then kick me out on the street.

I know I should have told her the truth but I was scared of him and had nowhere else to go — I was 18 and a student — so kept quiet.

Even though I kept my word, he stopped talking to me for months. I felt awful.

He cheats and lies about it and makes me deceive my mum too
He cheats and lies about it and makes me deceive my mum tooCredit: Alamy

I love my mum and knew she deserved better.

Now I’ve found out he’s having another affair, and when I confronted him he told me to keep it quiet or he’d throw me out and cut me off without a penny.

He made it sound like, if I said anything, I’d be the one hurting my mum, not him.

He’s had countless other affairs and some that I probably don’t know about.

My mum has been with him for 25 years and he’s treated her so badly she’s lost all her confidence.

She makes excuses for him and lets him walk all over her, like a doormat.

I worry what will happen to my mum if I do move out
I worry what will happen to my mum if I do move outCredit: Alamy

I’m worried if I leave home she’ll be alone with him, and he’ll treat her even worse.

I’m now 21 and can’t carry on like this.

READ ALSO: After 15 years, I found out my wife slept with my best man a night before our wedding  

I need to tell her what he’s really like and I don’t want anything more to do with him. It’s eating me up inside.

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: Your dad has treated both you and your mum awfully. But rest assured, you’re clearly nothing like him.

You love your mum and want to help her, while he thinks about nobody but himself and his own needs.

The reason he threatens and intimidates you is because he knows you’ve got the measure of him – there’s nothing a narcissist hates more.

You need to offload to someone in confidence, and a counsellor can provide expert help.

You can talk to them about whether it is best to tell, and support your mum with the truth, which she may well already know.

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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