MY violent ex-boyfriend has threatened to cut my new boyfriend into pieces if he ever sees me out with him again.
Now I feel I will never be able to find love.
I first met the new boyfriend two years ago and he made me feel I had found true happiness for the first time.
But now I have finished with him — after lying that it had only been a bit of fun, to protect him from my jealous and abusive ex of ten years ago.
The new man and I had met through my martial arts club and hit it off straight away. I was devastated to then learn he was married.
But as I got to know him better, he confided in me that he was unhappily married and felt very drawn to me.
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I was really looking forward to my future with him but it was suddenly ruined one night when we were enjoying an evening out.
My stomach turned as my ex — with whom I had an on-off relationship all those years ago — walked into the bar.
I tried to hide but he spotted me. My ex had beaten me up lots of times when he felt I had let him down, and attacked friends of myself who had tried to stick up for me.
The new man I was seeing, and myself, are both 31.
My ex is 35 and, the night after he saw me in the bar, he called and warned me that if he ever saw me with that man again, he would cut him up.
I didn’t want to take any chances, as I know what he is capable of. So I phoned my man and cancelled our next date.
I told him I didn’t think we were compatible and I wanted to get back with my ex.
He was devastated and said he would leave his wife there and then if it made a difference. I forced myself to say nothing would change things.
That was more than a year ago and I still miss him every day.
Do you think I should get back in touch and tell him the truth? Or should I stay away?
I did get back with my ex for a couple of weeks because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t.
That didn’t last and I haven’t seen him in months.
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: First and foremost, you need to break the damaging hold your ex has over your life.
As things are now, he is able to come and go from your life as he pleases, destroying whatever relationships you have built up in his wake.
Living with an abusive partner will have hugely damaged your self- confidence.
You can rebuild your self-esteem by going to counselling.
Once you are in a stronger place emotionally, if you still want to be with your former boyfriend, you could try one more time. But this time be honest with him.
Also, be prepared for him to have moved on with his life.
And if that is the case, you too will be able to move on properly, having sorted the toxic relationship you have with this ex.