Do I tell my sick son that his dad isn’t his biological father?

 MY husband has brought up my son as his own for the past 16 years, with my son believing he is his dad.

But my son has become very ill and I think I will have to tell him the truth about his conception.

We are due to go to see the doctor soon for a whole barrage of tests to see if we can discover why my son keeps collapsing.

I don’t want one of the medics to let slip that his dad is not his biological father.

But I’m worried this revelation will be too much for him when he’s already struggling with this mystery illness.

I don’t want our relationship or the brilliant bond between him and his dad to be ruined.

I consider myself stable now but in my early twenties I went off the rails after my dad died in an accident.

Mum wouldn’t see me for days, as I did my best to blot out everything by drinking and partying hard.

One night I had s3x with a man I wouldn’t recognise now even if he knocked on my front door.

I decided to keep the baby that resulted and I have never regretted the day my gorgeous blue-eyed boy was born.

Two months after he arrived, I went out and met my future husband. When I introduced him to my son, who was then five months old, I knew we would be together for ever.

We got married a year later and now have two daughters together who are 12 and ten.

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I am 39 and my husband is 41. We have never told my son the truth. We never felt the need as they love each other very much.

Do I try to keep the family secret for longer, or should I let my son know his real dad is someone I don’t even know?

I'm scared a doctor or nurse might let the secret slip
I’m scared a doctor or nurse might let the secret slipCredit: Alamy

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: Even if a doctor or nurse doesn’t let it slip, these kinds of family secrets have a way of coming out.

Take control. You have nothing to hide. You don’t need to go into any particular detail about what you got up to in your twenties. It is enough to say you had a tough time after your dad died.

I understand you are worried he may struggle to understand how the man who brought him up as his dad is not his real father. Together you can tell your son a dad is someone who loves their child unconditionally, which is true of your husband.

Reassure your son this news changes nothing.

You all need to put your energies into getting him better and I’m sure once you tell your son the truth, you will be able to focus on the main job in hand.

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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