MY friend with benefits has just told me he is seeing another woman and is thinking of starting a relationship with her.
We’ve been having great s3x but I always seem to give off vibes that I am available just for s3x when really I want a relationship.
I am 29. Every man I meet makes it clear that he is only interested in s3x with me.
On the surface that’s OK and I have no qualms turning down any man I am not interested in, but I’m beginning to realise all the men I meet are open about looking for relationships with other women but with me it’s just s3x.
I really liked a man I worked with and we became very close.
However, it was only after we’d slept together a few times he told me not to get feelings for him as he saw me only as a good friend.
Foolishly I carried on sleeping with him, hoping he’d change his mind. But within months he said he was exclusive with another woman and they now live together.
Another time I met a man in a bar who took a shine to me. He flirted all evening, then I asked how long he’d been single.
To my surprise he said he’d been with his partner over a year.
I told him I wasn’t interested but that didn’t put him off. He kept making suggestive remarks — another man who just saw me as a s3x object.
I began this latest friends-with-benefits arrangement a few months ago. He’s 27 and shares a flat with a woman I work with.
I sympathised when his long-term relationship broke up and we ended up in bed. It went on from there. When he said he’d met someone special I wished him well and thought that would be the last I heard from him.
I was shocked to get a message next morning asking to meet later for a last night of s3x before he got serious with the other woman. I felt so disrespected.
I just do not know what I do wrong, and more importantly, what I can do differently in the future to prevent this happening again.
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: You will be addressed based on your address. Men are most likely not going to take you serious until you take yourself serious.
You may not knowingly be giving off vibes that you are up for a casual fling but the messages you have been giving out to guys have not spelled out what you really want.
I’m afraid Friends-With-Benefits (FWB) is unlikely to lead to a relationship. Stop expecting or demanding too much from men, they will definitely see it as though they are paying for the s3x.
It is hurtful to feel guys disrespect you. When you start to respect and value yourself more highly, guys will pick on that vibe and treat you differently.
At 29 you should set your boundaries firmly. Only have s3x with men who are as open as you are to the possibility of it leading to a relationship. And before you have s3x, be double sure you’re not only seen as a s3x partner.
In any event, with coronavirus you now have the perfect reason not to have casual s3x with anyone.