MY wife has been having an online affair with somebody I’m sure is part of a scamming operation, but she says she loves this “person”.
We have a happy marriage and have been together for decades.
I am 57 and she is 51. I tell her every day that she is beautiful and I love her. I never give any other woman a second look.
Everything seemed fine until lockdown, then I was furloughed.
My wife suddenly seemed distant from me and was taking time out to be alone. I thought that she just wanted me back at work, but it was worse than that.
She began taking her phone with her into the bathroom, having long baths, and going out for walks on her own, which she’d never done before. We had always done everything together.
Her phone flashed up one morning with a message from somebody I didn’t recognise.
She was in the shower so I clicked on it and saw a text from a guy with an African-sounding name.
She doesn’t work so I had no idea where she would have met this person but then I saw she had replied to him in the early hours saying, “I love you and I can’t wait until this pandemic is over and I can come and meet you.”
I confronted her and she could see I was angry.
She broke down and told me she’d “met” a 35-year-old man who lives in Nigeria and has fallen for him. When she said met, she had just seen pictures.
She allowed me to look at the messages and she’d sent explicit texts and revealing photographs to him.
He had been blackmailing her into sending him money with the threat he would post the photographs on the internet.
She realises she made a mistake but how can she care about me if she’d do something like that?
MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: You are right, this is a scam. These people are clever and manipulative.
Your wife was probably flattered at first and then so frightened, she’s gone along with it.
Find guidance on reporting the scam through the Interpol and the police.
Looking at that site may convince your wife this man isn’t genuine, if she still hasn’t accepted that. She is not alone in falling for this sort of thing.
It is going to take a long time for you to rebuild the trust. She may have felt unhappy with your relationship but she should have said so rather than looking elsewhere for excitement.
Both of you should sit and have a good talk about what has happened and the way forward for your union.
Forgive her and don’t stop loving her.