I feel tormented and cheated on after my partner insisted on a threesome

MY partner insisted that we had a threesome with another woman.

From the start I was against it. Now I can’t get the images of the two of them having s3x out of my head.

I have been with my partner for three years. I am a woman of 38 and he is 35.

When we met I had not long come out of a relationship with a guy who was into swinging.

He was 45 and belonged to three swinging clubs.

When I look back, I realise he used me and I was needy enough to fall for it.

I would do most things he wanted because I was desperate to be in a relationship.

READ ALSO: I did swinging to please my man but asking for a threesome with gay man is a BIG NO   

In the end I realised I didn’t love him and hated the swinging scene. I felt grubby.

My partner quickly got it on with the other woman and I had to watch them having sex
My partner quickly got it on with the other woman and I had to watch them having s3x Credit: Corbis – Getty

He certainly didn’t love me and just accepted it when I told him we were over.

After that, I wasn’t in a rush to be with someone, but in fact I met my partner a few weeks later.

He is a good guy and we were happy together, although he is less experienced than I am and it eats into him. He kept on at me to swing with him.

I went on to a swinging site to set up a threesome, but then backed out, saying I love him too much to want to do that.

He did accept that but then a woman who had seen my post got in touch. She suggested meeting us and of course my partner was up for it.

ALSO READ: I had amazing relationship with my married lover until he became jealous and cruel 

So she came round to our flat — this was before the latest Covid restrictions.

I can’t stop seeing the pictures in my head of them having sex – it’s like it’s on a loop
I can’t stop seeing the pictures in my head of them having s3x – it’s like it’s on a loopCredit: Alamy

She was around 30 and seemed a nice enough person but rather pushy. She and my partner quickly got it on and I had to watch them having s3x. I hated it.

I tried to end the evening as soon as I could and burst into tears after she had gone.

My partner comforted me but I can tell since that he’s rather glad about it, like he feels he has evened the score or something.

I am tormented though. It feels like he has cheated in front of me.

I can’t stop seeing the pictures in my head of them having s3x – it’s like it’s on a loop.

He watches a lot of porn and doesn’t seem so interested in ordinary s3x either. Should I just end it with him?

READ MORE: Our s3x life is great but my lover still won’t divorce his wife for me  

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: You certainly need to do some serious talking.

Point out to your partner that online porn is designed to be addictive and tends to blunt the appetite for real s3x with a real partner. Does he want to risk your relationship?

Say you care for him and think you two could be good together, but only if he shows commitment and puts your feelings before pushing sexual boundaries.

If he doesn’t buy your idea, then tell him that you would also like to have another guy next time and see what his reaction will be.

Marriage was originally designed by God for two but human beings have often changed the narratives and the originality of marriage. Continuous urge for a third person in your relationship will deepen the disconnect between both of you.

His response will tell you whether you have a future.

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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