TWELVE years ago my husband walked out of the delivery room when I was in labour, saying he was off to the pub.
It’s been an unhappy marriage but now a lover has put a spark back into my life.
I’ve been married for 13 years. My husband is a big drinker — every evening and from midday at weekends. I am 37 and he is 38.
For years, I’ve wanted to leave and I’ve told him so. But I haven’t had the money to make a life for me and my daughter and he refuses to move out.
Late last year a lovely man messaged me. He is the father of a boy who was at school with my daughter and we used to chat (and flirt a bit) at the school gate.
He said he’d heard on the grapevine I was unhappy and that he’d broken up with his partner. He wondered if I would like to meet to commiserate.
We met while our kids were at school. I only work part-time and he is his own boss so can arrange his hours to suit himself. We got on really well and it was lovely to talk openly. He’s 35.
It turned out he hadn’t actually left his partner, because of his son, but said their relationship was over and they don’t have s3x.
We’ve managed to keep meeting most weeks. It’s been hard to have s3x when the kids are off school but we’ve managed to when they are not around. It’s wonderful to feel wanted.
READ ALSO: I’m 31 and my man is 72 – he’s older than my dad but I don’t care because the s3x is wonderful
The downside is he is like Cinderella. He has to be home by 3pm when his other half gets in from work. He never rings me when she is around and never texts in case she looks at his phone.
I am OK with this, though, as nothing better is happening in my life and he makes me laugh and feel special.
Am I wrong to see him? We are both unhappy at home but make each other happy. I don’t think I could bear to walk away.
I do understand how unhappy and trapped you feel in your marriage.
An alcoholic husband can abusive sometimes out of drunkenness.
But readers’ experiences tell me an affair like yours is likely to lead to more misery in the longer term. Because you need just more than a s3x partner.
You may be enjoying your new affair right now but it won’t last. The fact that your lover can’t talk to you when his partner is around shows he is not ready to have anything serious with you yet.
At this point in your life, s3x is not what you truly seek. You need economic empowerment which will put you and your daughter in a better state of mind and life. …This should be your focus right now.
Either you will be found out or your lover will move on. Your husband may react badly if he finds out about your secret affairs. And the happiness you are enjoying now will end in tears and pains.
Meanwhile, your daughter is growing up in an unhappy home with an alcoholic dad. At least for her sake, explore what support you can find to help you make a new and happier life for her and yourself.