Mum and Mum-in-law Travel Visa Clash, Husband in Disarray

The wife is 8 months pregnant and will give birth in less than 5 weeks. Both couple want one of their mothers to come help in taking care of the soon-to-be-born baby. The issue now is: Which of the mothers should get visa first?

I live here with my wife in Dubai. She’s a nurse and I’m a Safety Manager. She’s 8 months pregnant 🤰🏽 and according to her work policy, she will have only 2 months leave from work to go and deliver and get back to work ASAP or else they’ll fix someone at her position.

Immediately, I spoke to my cousin to get my mum a passport so that I’ll fly her here to take care of the baby whiles we’re at work.

4 days ago my wife asked me what are we gonna do about that and I told her my mum will be coming over to take care of the baby. My wife quickly shouted “NO”.

To my surprise she said she had already spoken to her mum about it but would have to tell me before she can come and take care of the baby.

She made her brother apply for an instant passport for her already but I didn’t know that. I told her to give me time to think about it.

Now my main problem is, I can’t let my mum down since I’ve made it clear to her that she’ll be coming. I even sent her money to buy me some African prints and all. She’ll feel bad to see me replacing her coming with my wife’s mum.

As I type now I’m sooo confused cus we can’t have them both here. 1 must go. My mum or my wife’s mum? How do I settle this issue? Help me. Thank you 😊

This is what lack of communication does to a relationship. “And the two shall become one” but both of you chose to make decisions without consulting each other. This is not good at all for a healthy marriage. Both of you were emotionally carried away, thereby forgetting the role of effective communication in marriage.

From experience, I will advice you to allow your mother-in-law come first whilst your mom visits later for a short while. Your wife will feel more comfortable with her mom around than yours.

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Fatherhood and motherhood comes with a lot of stress and responsibilities, don’t allow emotions to create more issues for you both and the unborn child as well.

Speak with your mom, she will understand…..even if she doesn’t understand, your marriage won’t be adversely affected. Don’t be sentimental about this, just be rational and mature. Don’t let this break your home. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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