Finding It Difficult To Let Go Your Ex Lover

I think my ex is getting herself into trouble…

My ex and I broke up because of family and age… she was about 4 years older than me. But we shared real and genuine Love. Because of the love I had or let me say have for her, so I still can’t move on.

The issue here is, when we broke up, a friend in the states advised her to try and use that TINDER dating app. But you and I will bear witness to the fact that, it doesn’t work like that here in Africa. Some Niggas on that site are there for different agendas.

She made me know everything and anyone who talks to her from there. In fact, my ex is very rich, well educated, very beautiful too and kind as well. She still supports me even after our break up.

So fast forward, she was talking to about 6 guys on there… and I think she had her best 3. But I warned her about them. Glory to God, she found out one was dating. And there was this particular one who kept all conversations sexual. So I told her that one doesn’t carry good intentions.. And she dropped that one too.

READ ALSO: Go For A Good Partner, Not A Perfect Person. 

Now, with the last guy, I think they hanged out a couple of times and the guy proposed and my ex didn’t wait a second….she accepted. They’ve been dating for like 3 to 4 months now. And my ex is all head over heels with him…Like telling me that guy is the perfect one… because he calls her 24/7…. They could talk all day….and the guy is intelligent and all that. But I strongly feel my ex made the guy know all her weak points too early.

Because I know my ex very well… She’ll tell you everything about her… she loves and trusts easily like that. So guys intend to use her a lot… Something is telling me this guy ain’t right for her but she wouldn’t pulse to listen to me.

As for her, immediately you tell her you will marry her, then that is it… have her whole being. She’s so obsessed with marriage. And that’s what the guys use to convince and use her. I have dated her and I know, though she’s grown, but she’s very much immature. She’s not smart… She trusts easily… She likes putting all her eggs in one basket.

How can she trust a guy she met on a dating site…who is old enough to be married by now? I asked her; “what makes you think you’re the only girl the guy is talking to?” “How sure are you this guy is for real?”

READ ALSO: ADVISE: My Ex Girlfriend Is About To Marry My Brother

Maybe she doesn’t know guys can pretend a lot because of something. Like she is too fragile…..anything u tell her, she’ll believe you… Like I don’t know how to advice her to slow down and ease that marriage pressure she has placed on herself. I wish she will understand that when people see how desperate you are for things….they serve you less than you deserve.

I told her to be aware of cony men who come all out as lover boys…. You can’t trust easily in this era… you need to be more vigilant. In the present world we are in, people are using people by heart. And to those who might think i’m saying this out of jealousy, just so u will know, I still have that bond with her.

We still have s3x when we wish. We still vibe and all. Our relationship was built on friendship…like she’s still my best friend. I’m just worried over the fact that, some idiot might hurt her.. because it’s gonna be my shoulders she’s gonna cry on…. But do u think its right to let her know what my instincts says?


Hello dear, you can’t eat your cake and have it. I think you’re crying more than the bereaved here….which makes you less mature than her.

If you claim to have loved her and still love her, why did you allow the issue of age and family to break you guys up? Love supercedes age and family most times.

You’re obviously being over protective, probably because you still love her or you don’t want to lose the supports she is giving you till date. So, I will advise you to work your way back and marry her against all odds.

ALSO READ: Most Men Don’t Actually Want What They Say They Want 

Though, you may be genuinely concerned about her well-being, but you should also know that until she makes mistakes, she can’t learn.

Mistakes are part of life and she just might have also made a mistake with you. If this is a mistake, let her make it and learn her lessons….this is one way she can be mature like you want her to be.

It’s normal to be jealous of those we care about, so there is no need to hide the fact that you are also very jealous of the new guy right now.

You should let her be if you both can’t work and remain a true friend to her. But if you still want to be in her life as her lover, then man up to your responsibilities and make her yours. You may still have more advantage over her than the new guy. The time is now, as further delay won’t favour you. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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