Married With a Child But in Love With Another Man
“A couple of years ago, I found out my wife was cheating and since then, our eight years marriage hadn’t been the same. I was ready to forgive her because a lot of things went wrong on my side and that led to the cheating.
We talked about it and we both accepted our mistakes and apologized to each other.
The problem now is my wife is deeply in love with the man she cheated on me with so, she keeps going back to him. There’s nothing more for us to do than to go our separate ways.
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We have a seven year old daughter between us whom we try so much to hide our troubles from. We don’t want her to know what is happening but somehow she’s got the hint.
Her mom goes out and comes back home very late and she will be asking me questions: “Where is mom?” “Why is she not coming home like she used to?” “Why are you the one cooking?”
I am tired of answering questions. Do you think it’s a good idea to tell her what her mother is doing? Is it alright to tell her that her mom has found another man and she’s chosen the man over us?
Deep down in my heart, I want to tell her everything but I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t want a situation whereby her mother will tell her a twisted version of what’s really happening.
Should I wait till we dissolve the marriage before telling her everything?”
Too bad things are going this way with your marriage. Nobody likes to be cheated on. If your wife is in love with another man, not considering her 8yrs marriage, it means she has fallen out of love with you for a while now. She is just using this one time to express her feelings.
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All you need to do is to learn your lessons, forgive yourself and your wife and be still. Just behave like she doesn’t exist and concentrate on making life better for yourself and your child. She just might be testing and stretching you. Don’t be the first to ask for a divorce, let it come from her. And when she brings it on, give your consent to it. Don’t push further to having the marriage because you may never be respected as the man anymore for a long time and this will affect the character of your daughter, who sees the both of you as her role models.
Your daughter is still too young to understand so many things about relationship and marriage. However, tell her your wife doesn’t love you anymore because you messed up. Let her know it was all your fault and not your wife’s. Don’t ever tell her your wife cheated because your wife will never admit that to her and it might turn against you later.
So be the first to condemn yourself to your child and beg her for forgiveness. Female kids easily connect with their dads than mom most times. So, you have an advantage to win the love of your daughter already. Don’t be concerned or bothered about what your wife may tell your daughter about you, just be focused and give your daughter all the love and care she deserves from her father. This is all you need to do. Good Luck!