His Insecurity Made Him A Police CID

When there is no trust, most partners become so insecure.

I have been dating this guy for four months now and we’ve been having lots of misunderstandings and fights. He wants me to be telling him everything I do…. even when a friend visits me, he wants me to tell him. But I feel is not right because I have the right to my personal life and he has his own too.

Before we started dating I told him about myself that is, the things he is supposed to know but not all my past because it is all past and gone. He rather used his own ways to find out about my past which we fought about but later decided to stay together.

He always wants to go through my phone. If am with him and my data is off another wahala, my phone on silence; trouble. He sometimes comes to my area and will not call me. He will stay there for like 30 minutes and when I get to find out and I ask why he didn’t call me, he will just say he was studying the area….Hmmm

Anytime we have a misunderstanding, he asks for a break up and the misunderstanding is always about being real. He classifies being real as me telling him everything I do without leaving anything out.

I keep finding lubricants and condoms in my husband’s stuffs 

He broke up with me 4 days ago because my male friend came to visit me and I didn’t tell him. That is all I know about the cause of our breakup.

The problem is; I love him and can’t forget him so what should I do? Apart from this, he is a good person.

MARRIAGE-CHRONICLES.COM: Your boyfriend is suffering from insecurity. And insecurity is a serious issue in relationship and marriage. Its ripple effect can be overwhelmingly harmful to both partners and the relationship.

ALSO READ: Relationship Issues: Happy Heart today, Broken Heart the next day 

However, I will like to dwell on the cause rather than the problems attached. So, it will be pertinent to ask the following questions:

1. Where did you both meet the first time and what happened? Faulty foundations will bring issues later.
2. Are you very beautiful and friendly?
. Are you both mature enough for a relationship?
4. Do you know his temperament and yours? Melancholics are very curious and insecure. They are extra possessive and don’t like to share their lovers. They are picky with friends and choices.
5. Are you his first girlfriend, how did he end his previous relationship? For all you may know, he may be exacting the ill experience from his previous relationship(s) on you.
6. Are you proud of your man, do you introduce him to your friends and loved ones as your man?
7. Do you spend more time with your man than you spend with your other male friends?
8. Do you consciously hide “private” affairs from your man?

The answers you provide to the above questions will determine the reason behind the approach of your boyfriend to your relationship.

The strength of every good relationship and marriage is anchored on these factors; Love, Transparency, Trust, Communication, Commitment and Understanding. Once your relationship lacks any of these vital ingredients, it is bound to suffer so many deficiencies. Prayer is good but prayers can’t do for you what the six factors mentioned above will do for your relationship.

READ ALSO: It all started when I left my phone at his place 

Be more open with him, don’t be selfish with information, make him your gossip partner, engagement him more with your private life….all these will give him reasons to trust you. Once he trusts you enough, his insecurity will gradually diminish in return. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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