A lady and I stay in the same town but work in the different places
About 2 months ago I made an advance towards her for a relationship and she accepted. During discussions she told me she is going out however she is no longer interested in the guy. I asked for further details as to why she is no longer interested in his guy. This is her story.
She has been with him for 4 yrs. The guy has been her backbone when she had nothing by supporting and accommodating her for 2 years when she had no place to lay her head. The said guy financially supported her tertiary education and she is currently working and doing very well .
They had plans to marry this year but covid has put things on hold and most of her traditional marriage stuffs have been purchased. As things stand now she is telling me she has never been in love with this guy but has decided to marry him as a way of saying “thank you”.
According to her she has been battling with this marriage thought for a while now but nobody is ready to listen to her side of the story that she has no love for this guy. I asked her if she has ever mention this to him before, she said no. She has described him as a very lovely and a nice gentleman but for her she has no love for him at all.
It’s been 2 months of dating her and I can see she is serious about me and I’m equally serious about her but after listening to her story I’ve decided to rescind my decision to stay in the relationship because my conscience isn’t permitting me to do this to my fellow man. The decision to quit with her is something she is not ready to listen to.
She has plans to open a discussions with her family about quitting the relationship and aborting the marriage plans with the guy after which she will equally inform him about it . Honestly I don’t want to continue this in as much as l love her however she is bent on being with me . Pls help me out.
Marriage Chronicles: She is callous at heart and ungrateful. She will also leave you when you are not able to provide for her or meet her expectations. Put yourself in the man’s shoe and see how you will feel.
The man can come after you, he can harm you if you don’t remove yourself this whole puzzle. The man may think you’re the one distracting his lady. So you need to thread carefully.
Don’t give her chance to tell you that she sacrificed her marriage to be with you blah blah to manipulate you later in future. Give her space to figure herself out. I think she is confused at the moment and needs time to discover herself. She hasn’t been without a man in a couple of years now, so she may not know much about herself and the reality of life….how it really feels to work hard and pay your bills without help. She needs to know how it feels to be alone as a mature lady for a couple of months so she can value the presence and impact of a companion when she finds one.
Read Also: Strongly in Love But Worlds Apart
The love she feels for you now can diminish after few years in marriage. Those who are divorcing every day were once great lovers. So, love is just not enough sometimes.
Be kind and mature enough to advise her on these paths mentioned above. Let her know how much you would love to have her as your wife but you don’t want to be the reason she has to break up with her 4yrs man. Let her know you will maintain a good distance away from her until everything is settled. And if later on fate permits, both of you can be together again. Good Luck!