I gave up on relationships at some point in my life. I was tired and drained. It used to be me giving it my all and then later the man would disappear for no reason. It wasn’t once. It wasn’t twice. It wasn’t even thrice. It kept happening until that point in my life that I decided enough was enough.
I thought to myself; “I can only have my heart broken if I give it away. What if I keep it for myself?”
So for three straight years, I was alone. It wasn’t all rosy but at least I had no pain. And then Akosua came into my life.
I met her in the village I was posted to do my service as a fresh medical nurse. She was a colleague nurse I had to share an apartment with. It was a two bedroom and a hall apartment. The bedrooms were adjacent to each other with only a wall separating both of us.
We became very close and spent many nights at the hall watching tv and gossiping about the people we worked within the hospital. Akosua was always happy and smiling. Nothing seemed to put her down. She could go through the worse of things and the next moment you’ll see her smiling.
One night at the hall she asked me; “You don’t have a boyfriend?” Before I could say no she said, “Get yourself a boy. You have only this moment. The next one, you might be toothless and undeserved of anyone’s love. You might regret all the joy you let it passed.”
I told her my story. I told her about all the guys who came into my life and went away. She looked at me, amused, she said, “Girl you are lucky! You are lucky that they come and go. It only means you have plenty opportunity to get yourself another one.”
She wasn’t joking. She meant every word she said.
In the few months I had known her, I’d seen four different guys coming to visit her. Mostly, they would come and spend the night. And at some point, they go and come no more until a few days later you see a new one coming.
I asked about it and she said; “They love you at first. They lie to you later and then they disappear. At first, it hurt but life goes on.” She was a charmer and very courageous.
Whenever she comes home with a boyfriend, that night I can’t sleep. She would scream in different rhythms and all the while mentioning the name of the guy who was doing her. That how I got to learn the names of his boyfriends.
She had one guy called Fred. That night when they came home and doing it I thought the guy was killing her. She was too loud and too detailed. She was calling everything by name during the act including mentioning how huge Fred’s Gandoga was and how Fred was ‘destroying’ her vajayjay.
I stayed up all night listening to her screaming and groans. She came to knock on my door the next morning to apologize to me; “Dear, forgive me for last night. It was super loud but it wasn’t my fault. The guy was too huge!” We both burst out laughing and then I said; “Don’t worry, I’m used to it now.”
She cared so much about me in a way nobody had ever done. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for me. She would wash for me, cook for me for us to eat and on Sundays, she would come and pull me out of bed to follow her to church. We had become sisters even before we realized it.
I told her about a guy I met who was pestering me with love proposals. She asked me only three questions; “Do you like him? Is he someone you think you can sleep with? Do you think he is a good guy?” I answered yes to the first question and said: “I don’t know to the rest.” And then she told me to study him very well before I make a move.
I did study him. I told him a lot about me and why I didn’t want s!x until the two of us were so sure. We started dating and I had Akosua urging me on all the way. She was the cheerleader of that relationship. Severally the guy demanded s!x from me and I turned him down. He was a good guy but he wanted s!x too soon I figured. He left me before the relationship clocked seven months.
Three months later, another one came my way. I was so sure of that guy that if he stayed for another month, I would have agreed to have s!x with him but he too left at the point when I was so madly in love with him. I cried for a week. I was broken. Akosua was there for me to help lessen the pain.
In my hard times, she was there but that didn’t stop her from having fun. She would tell me everything would be alright but the next minute, you would hear her voice through the walls, screaming and groaning. Sometimes I would stay awake all night wishing I could be like her. Her free-spirited nature was something I wished I could have.
Her boyfriend came to visit one night and as usual, I was expecting the usual dose of noise. Surprisingly, it was quiet throughout the night. Not even a whisper. The next morning I started showering praises on her and making fun of her for that achievement. And then she said, “That’s how guys are. You don’t know where they get their energy from at the beginning of the relationship. The first night, they usually give you a great show but as time goes on, they lose it. That’s why I love the beginning of relationships. This one had been with me for over a year. Now I count myself lucky if he even gives me one round.”
One day everything changed
Akosua found a new boyfriend. One of the young doctors who came around. It was just around the same time that I also found another boyfriend. He was a doctor too. As usual, my rules were the same; “No s!x until we are sure of what we are doing.” He got it. He understood that s!x wasn’t the main thing.
Akosua kept going with her doctor boyfriend. For a long time, the moaning never stopped. Every time he came around I could hear them. Sometimes the doctor would talk too. They were both loud. Eight months into their relationship, she brought the good news; “We are getting married very soon.”
I told her; “I’m not surprised. This one hasn’t stopped making you scream even though it’s been that long.” We both laughed.
As she said, not too long later they got married. I was happy for her until the day she came to pack her things to go and live with her husband. I cried a little. I was losing a friend, a sister, and a companion. I never thought I was going to miss her screaming but that night I did. It was too quiet in the night that I started getting scared. I thought of her and I prayed for her. My only problem was how her new neighbors were going to cope with her noise.
Last year she came for my wedding. My wedding with the doctor boyfriend. There was only one question I was dying to ask her. When the opportunity came, I asked her; Do you still make noise when doing it?”
She slapped my shoulders and burst out laughing; “Stupid girl! don’t you have any sensible question to ask?”