Advise: Just Three Weeks To Our Engagement

Three weeks to our engagement after being with him for 3 years, I decided to give him a surprise visit with a present in hand. I got there, opened the door and violaaa! My supposed husband to be was in bed with my best friend (supposed bridesmaid).

I just got hold of myself, put the present on the table and left. This was in November last year. Up till now, he hasn’t called or said a word. My friend too hasn’t said a word. I said nothing to my parents other than I can’t continue with the ceremony… I went through hell. The depression was killing.

I attempted suicide and ended up at the hospital for days. It was his parents who kept calling to apologize on his behalf which was when my mum got to know what happened. I burned my wedding gown and sent all items we had bought which was in my possession through my cousin to my “best friend”…

It was never easy and still hasn’t been easy. I wasn’t a virgin but before starting a relationship with him, he told me it was against his principles to have sex before marriage. This was a guy who will go out of his room whenever I want to change to take my bath and won’t let me wear a nightwear when I visit him.

So after 2 months, I decided to get a change of environment and then joined your twitter page to release stress because the last thing I wanted was to depend or trust another soul with the intention of getting over my past…
It is never easy..never easy.. I know I have moved on because I don’t care about what the two do neither do I even want to know but it has left a scar..there is fear.
But I will definitely be fine and I will love again.

Marriage Chronicles: I don’t know how you dated a guy for three years without sex…..even with all the closeness of sleeping over at his place. He must have been a perfect cheat to have been able to condition your heart and mind to believing he was keeping himself till your wedding night.

It will have been easier for you as the woman to come up with “No Sex” till after wedding. This is based on the fact that men are naturally wired for constant sex while the women would mostly feel for sex once or twice a month due to menstrual cycle.

For all you may know, he may not be sexually attracted to you…..this is a serious issue in a relationship. When a man loves you for everything other than sex, he will cheat on you “unrepentantly”. So be grateful that you caught him cheating before marriage….because he would have starved you of sex all through the marriage and probably push you into cheating as well.

Stand gallantly to your feet, shake yourself and move on with your life. Allow posterity to judge your man and your friend who betrayed your love and trust. There is consequence for everything that humans do. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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