My sister in law came and complained to me that my brother is cheating on her with numerous girls and his Exes call for money which he always send them the money with the excuse that if he doesn’t send they will keep worrying him for it.
My sister in law said when she talks to him about it, he’ll tell her he dated them before meeting her so she can’t tell him to stop keeping in touch with them.
Her other problem was that apart from the daily chop money he doesn’t want to give her any money again. The children and the lady lack good clothes.
NB: my sisters and I were buying clothes for the children but realized my brother is having money but spending it unnecessary so we all stopped.
Now after telling me her problems since my brother is older than me I told my mum. The advice my mum gave to my sister-in-law is that she has not still spoiled after giving birth to 3 children. If she looked at the scene and the marriage won’t help she should move on because she my mum made the same mistake when she was with my father and always hoping he will change but he didn’t. Later on he made her a single parent which retarded her progress so she doesn’t want my sister-in-law to make the same mistake and give her destiny to a man to destroy it. If she moved on and went away with the kids my mom said she will personally collect their money monthly for them.
We called my brother and we all talked to him. Mum said if he doesn’t stop womanizing she will not be in speaking terms with him again and will disown him. I trust my mum because she has done it to him before.
1. The problem is although my brother didn’t mention it to us we have realized my sister-in-law doesn’t observe personal hygiene . She will not take her bath in the morning even in the evening. I have to be saying it like joking before she will. She will not bath the children.
But who is going to tell her?
Mum said she can’t because it will look like an insult.
My sisters said they also can’t.
Please I want a way to tell her which she will not feel hurt or offended.
2. My brother still hasn’t stopped his womanizing. Is it right if she tells mum about it? She is afraid because my mum will stop talking to my brother. Please how do we go about it?
Marriage Chronicles: The pain of being cheated on by the one you loved and trusted can be so devastating. Depression can set in if the cheating partner is not willing to change.
Your sister-in-law could be suffering from emotional depression right now. She is obviously not a happy woman in her marriage. This may be one of the reasons she no longer cares about personal hygiene.
However, it seems she has been careless with personal hygiene for a long time before now. This may be one of the reasons your brother is cheating on her without being penitent. Since she came to you for help, you need to talk to her like a sister, very seriously this time, about the importance of a woman’s personal hygiene…..she has to understand that it is not only for her husband but for herself. If she is dirty, it will reflect on the kids, appearance and character over time. She must not allow the stress of her kids and husband affect this vital part of her life.
Make sure you help her by suggesting good affordable soaps and body creams that can help her look clean and beautiful always.
Finally, get your mom to talk to your brother about his behavior towards his wife. She has to be diplomatic and calm about it, not angrily or rashly like most mothers do. Otherwise it may spoil things for your family and his wife the more. Good Luck!