A Defensive Cheating Boyfriend.

Good morning sir, I’m so troubled in my heart. My hubby picks at me on any little thing and all of this started since last year when I noticed he is going out with a girl. I confronted them and hubby apologized for his actions. But ever since then I noticed he still calls her which I have made up my mind not to confront her (side-chic) again cos I see he is always the one calling her first. Fast forward, it happened that any little quarrel we have he will insult me, telling me he regrets marrying me, that I charmed him, I am holding his destiny, I’m a witch and the marriage is over and so on. When I can’t take it anymore I will give him back word-for-word. And when our mind cool down we still settle.

NOTE:  I rejected his proposal for 4 good years before I was told in the church that he is my husband. In other words after 4 years of disturbing me, I gave him an answer. Now we are 6yrs in marriage with kids. He was not like this when we married until last year he started all this strange behavior which has hardened my heart towards him. The love I have for him is drastically going down. I just see him as a person I’m staying together with cos I no longer feel loved even though he never allows us to lack anything….even though I work.

Now I noticed he saved my name on his phone without a pet name. Though I din’t go into his phone, I dialed his number and it displayed my name which I asked why, no reason was given. In fact, because of that he started frowning his face at me and I never said anything. Before then I noticed he was thinking and I jokingly said “is your babe pregnant” and his response was “if she is pregnant, she will only have to deliver it” and my reply was “no woman on earth will get pregnant for you except me your legal wife, even if it happens by mistake it will end in miscarriage.

Pls sir, I want you to pray for the love, peace and harmony in my marriage to be restored as I will come back to testify and let every stranger in my marriage be disgraced and be separated from my hubby. I will come back to testify to d glory of God.

Marriage Chronicles: The early stage of marriage is mostly marred with ups and downs and your case is not peculiar. Most couples experience similar situation as yours during 1-6,7yrs of marriage, where they seem to regret marrying each other. These are years of discoveries, maturing, adjusting, accepting and adapting to each other’s ways of life. So you are just in a phase of your marriage.

Also, it’s assumed you don’t have a child yet with your husband as you didn’t mention that in the post. Most men, especially African men, become agitated, worried and impatient with their wives over pregnancy after the first and second year of the marriage. This may just be one of the reasons, he is cheating and disrespecting you, going by the response he gave you when you jokingly asked him if his girlfriend was pregnant. So we will also have to add that to the prayer points. Children have their roles in marriage, they are sources of joy to couples and marriages.

Whilst we are yet praying, I want you to be patient with him and yourself. Do your best to restore your love for him back and quarrel or confront him less as these will help to get quick answers to our prayers. I also want you to know that your husband still loves you and if you focus your energy and attention on becoming a better wife and partner to him….forgetting the pains and lack of peace-of-mind his cheating is causing you, you will see the desired changes sooner than you can imagine. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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