My Mum Pressured Me To Marrying Him But The Marriage Can’t Work After 16yrs.

I got married 2008 though I did not know hubby well, we just met and he said he will marry me. My mum said since there’s nobody to help I should marry cuz she doesn’t have money for me to go school. That was how I got married at the age of 16+. So we did our wedding but I never invited anybody only hubby and my mum did. From day one of that marriage I knew that something is wrong. Hubby will beat me in any little thing, he will  tell me he’s my God. If his angry he will beat me, if am angry he will beat me too. He abuses my mum and my family, even when I was pregnant he will beat me. When I delivered my first boy, he beat the future  mother out of me all because of a little thing in front of my mum… then my boy was only 2 weeks. This made me to hate him so much and wanted to kill him just to be free. Mum said I should  manage, that marriage is like a bag that once I opened it whatever I see I manage. Let me stop here and fast forward to last year.

Things are no longer right, he is going down in his business, he sold his house, his shop and everything. I told him not to do that, I begged him yet he refused then my mum said I should leave him. I have prayed yet nothing is happening. I have been falling sick every week since I know him….from one sickness to another. So I decided to do it the other way. Do you know that this man is not my husband and he knows cuz his pastor told him to the extent that the church that wedded us asked us to divorce?  Hubby ran out of the church and I was told that the reason why am still alive is because I always ran out of the house when the pressure is too much. I asked hubby about the pastor’s warning and he said yes….and other things they told me about him and he said it’s true. I ask him to call his pastor for me which he did and the man was telling him to let me go unless he want one of us to die. That was How hubby stop eating  my food, telling me that I now go to native doctors….hmm.

I packed out with my kids… I have 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl. So during this Covid-19, I told him we were coming for holidays and he said I should bring the 2 boys and stay with the girl that he wants us to share them. That was how he took the boys and I did not tell you guys that I was asked to stop seeing him, that I bring bad luck to him cuz I normally go to him when ever am horny. So where I need advice  now is nobody knows what I have passed thru and everybody sees us as a perfect match. So the problem  now is that they think  I left  my husband’s house for nothing…..some are saying that I have finished his money. This man was in a room and parlor when we got married and with me he bought all his properties. Now people are saying I finished his money and ran away and is paining me. I don’t know  if I should go back and die or he dies so that I can be free from what people are saying. I’m confused and remember I never loved him for once…. just married him to help my family and myself.

Marriage Chronicles: Firstly, I want you to know that nothing is permanent in life, marriage inclusive. It’s not good to separate or divorce, especially where children are involved but you can’t control everything in life. You need to stay alive for yourself, your kids and for the better future which is waiting for you. Hanging on to such marriage can lead to a very bad end, because you both married for the wrong reasons, coupled with the spiritual aspect which may be true or not.

Secondly, Your life is about you and not what people say. Those talking ill about you were certainly not there when you were going thru the domestic violence. So don’t pay attention to people’s negative opinions about you and move on with your life. But do your best to maintain a cordial relationship with him for the sake of the kids whilst you work out a better future for yourself and your family. Good Luck!

About Wealth Femi

I am Wealth O. A, B.Sc (Chemistry), Delta State University, Nigeria, Diploma (Basic Marine certs), Regional Maritime University, Ghana. Married with kids. Marriage and Relationship Counselor, writer and entrepreneur.

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